Making My Way Back to Allah

The years that followed my conversion to Islam in 2007 were the most peaceful years of my entire life. I spent years eagerly seeking knowledge and found a sense of belonging amongst my local Muslim community. My iman was shatterproof. Or so I thought.

In the years that followed my conversion, I lost my father to suicide, battled debilitating postpartum anxiety, and eventually my 14-year marriage ended. During this time, I had slowly allowed the chaos of this life to crowd out the time and effort I had previously dedicated to my iman. My practice of Islam crumbled, and for years I tried, and failed, to get it back.

By Allah’s will and grace, I am finally prioritizing my practice of Islam again, and slowly recovering that peace that our beautiful religion once afforded me. The following is what I found most beneficial along my journey:

Realize that you are undoubtedly being influenced by who and what you surround yourself with. You will never grasp the severity of sin if those around you are immersed in it, nor will your heart and mind be inclined to remember Allah if those around you seldom do. Surround yourself with people who encourage you towards the path of righteousness.

Find Islamic scholars who you feel you can relate to, and commit to listening to them every day. Make this a daily priority just as you do eating and sleeping. These constant reminders and words of encouragement will slowly make way to a softened heart and focused mind that is ready for change.

Balance grace with accountability. Allah is Most Forgiving, so you, too, can forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, commit to rectifying them, and hold yourself responsible for the changes you wish to make. Call yourself out when you slip, recognize what led to your mistake, formulate ways to avoid similar situations, avoid making excuses, and love yourself enough to get back up and continue your journey towards Him.

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Lindsey Nicole is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist and you can find more about her at MuslimMamaOnTheMove.com